Karaoke. Just the thought of it divides the
masses. One on hand, there are those who jump in whole-heartedly and see it as a way to sing drunkenly along to their favorite
tunes and play pop star for only a brief moment. Then there are the rest of us, filled with stagefright, unconfident in our
vocal abilities and would rather not make an ass of ourselves while simultaneously messing up a masterpiece and would rather
leave it to the professionals instead. For the flipside of the great karaoke debate, here is a small list of some of the worst
offenders to Beatles translations ever. Seriously people... some producer and some overly inflated egos felt that these cover
versions of Beatles songs were meant to be saved for the music annals and preserved for posterity. They should have hit the
off switch instead.
William Shatner - "Lucy In
The Sky With Diamonds"
There is no mistaking
Shatner's over the top read (note: I said read - NOT sing) of the Beatles psychedelic classic. It is one of those songs
that is so bad that you kind of end up liking it for its sheer audacity. It's a train wreck that once you hear it you
just can't look away. Shatner... YOU are captain of the Enterprise for God-sake. Shouldn't you be boldly going
where no man has gone before? Oh. I guess you have. Point taken.
This is a prime example of someone with a good voice covering a song that is - well... just not the perfect
match. Easy listening vibe with cheesy grandiose background singers will get you laughing to yourself "Was
is he serious?." Just wait. It gets worse. The way he sings "Pum pum pum pum pum pum pum... hey
Jude" at the end of the song that adds the final crowning touch of hilarity. Perhaps it was to be a medley of Hey
Jude/Little Drummer Boy but then the producers decided against it?
Kylie Minogue -
"Help"
This was a live version recorded in 1991 for a John Lennon tribute
concert. Someone should have helped this pop tart off the stage. It is bad on its own because of the cheesy dance-beats and
insipid obligatory background singers and some of the most flamboyant dancers prancing about on stage
but when it is broken up with a rap in the center of it all - it just pushes this song into entirely new level in Hell that
you just do not want to visit.
Tiffany - "I Saw Him Standing
There"
Mallrat Tiffany should have stuck to shopping
when she decided to cover this song. Her screechy delivery and the bouncy 80s synth-grooves is just plain awful.
I cannot understand how people actually bought into this. I guess people were too distracted by all the blow that was being
snorted in the 80s to notice.
This
is TRULY special. Mrs. Miller was a housewife turned singer who sang in a very operatic yet off-key style. She enjoyed brief
fame in the late 60s for her unique takes on modern hits. Her rendition of "Yellow Submarine" sounds as
if she is being shook in the process of it's off-tune delivery. The background sound effects sound very much like a
gurgling toilet about to bubble over. If you listen carefully in the distance you will here your neighbor's dog start
to howl from ear-splitting pain.